


Aces Wild

by Carmenlire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Alec Lightwood, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Episode: s01e06 Of Men And Angels, Episode: s02e07 How Are Thou Fallen, Episode: s03e12 Original Sin, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, Sex Positive, Supportive Magnus Bane, Time Skips, Yeah you read that right, alec is a sex positive ace, just go with it this ain't that serious chief, the usual grumbling about the wonky timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: Alec Lightwood is wild as hell.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 42
Kudos: 244





	Aces Wild

**Author's Note:**

> read the tags and if you don't like them, the back button is literally right there.

The first time Alec sees Magnus, it’s on a screen. The Fray girl is already a pain in his ass, his siblings are getting on his nerves, and he has a headache that’s been brewing for hours now.

When Hodge pulls up the High Warlock of Brooklyn’s dossier in the control room, everything goes quiet for a small but noticeable split second in Alec’s head.

He’s no stranger to beautiful men but Magnus is something else. There’s something alluring in his graceful slouch and throughout the decades, he’s only grown more stunning, for all it should be impossible.

But Alec tunes back in as Hodge dryly replies to Izzy. “He’s a bit of a Lothario,” his mentor announces to the small group in front of him. His tone is a little knowing, and twice as judgmental.

Alec hears the words and can’t help but be disappointed for a long moment, though he doesn’t know what exactly he was expecting. Of course a man like Magnus Bane would have baser urges and he had every right to act on them as long as everything was safe, sane, and consensual between him and his partners.

And Alec knows even as he thinks it that he’s wasting his time-- that forgetting Magnus is a warlock or a man-- that letting himself admire a pretty face is foolish when nothing can come out of it, when he’s so stressed and busy most days that he can barely think about his lack of a love life, let alone find someone to make things less lonely.

Still. There’s something about Magnus that pulls Alec in. He knows that he’s probably just being shallow, that seeing a beautiful man always makes him a little breathless and that’s probably all this momentary infatuation is.

Telling himself that he’s being an idiot, Alec focuses on the mission at hand and redirects most of his attention to making sure that Fray knows she’s a thorn in his side.

He can’t deny it. Right here, in the quiet of Magnus’s loft, Alec feels the edges of home.

It’s preposterous and damn near insane, but there’s something about Magnus that puts him at ease. In front of everyone else, Magnus is larger than life and commands his space. When it’s just the two of them, the warlock is quieter. 

Just as attentive but more forgiving. He smiles at Alec, daring to tease just a little, and while he feels silly for trying to clean a warlock’s couch, Alec had needed to do something useful and hadn’t come up with much else that he could do that was productive but out of the way.

It’s night time now and as Magnus stares out the window, Alec’s struck by his beauty. It’s different so close up after the hell of the day they’ve just had. He looks a little tired, his edges blurred, but there’s still a radiance that almost blinds him.

Deciding he’s being too fanciful-- even in his head, especially about someone who will never be an option-- Alec supposes it’s best to leave.

And he tries but then Magnus looks up at him, drink in his own hand as he asks, “Stay for one more drink? And then decide.”

Unsure, he looks into Magnus’s eyes. He’s not stupid and this is something he’s never done before. Magnus’s reputation precedes him and Alec can only hope to understand the coy hint in the warlock’s voice.

He’s heard tales from Izzy and Jace-- about their one night stands with Seelies, their hookups with vampires and werewolves, even the occasional mundane. He knows that most questions are loaded and usually leading.

Alec’s inexperience can only go so far. He’s not dense. But he’s never particularly wanted to sleep with anyone. Even if he can appreciate a pretty face or a toned physique, it never really goes beyond that.

Mundanes are a treasure trove of information and he’d learned that there was a word for how he felt. Back when he was still at the academy and all his friends were thinking with their dicks while he couldn’t help but look on baffled-- he’d gone searching and Alec feels very comfortable in his identity now, even if no one else knows.

But now he’s here with Magnus, someone who by all accounts gets around, and he’s nervous. If he accepts a drink is he accepting more?

His brain is cycling through all the ways this could go so wrong when he finally looks up and makes eye contact with Magnus. Alec tells himself that he’s being too romantic but he swears on the angel that there’s something there, something that makes him want to stay and have a drink and hope against hope that Magnus’s friendliness isn’t a guise just to get into his pants.

Alec accepts and Magnus smiles and it makes his heart ache, just a little.

Hours later, when he wanders back into the Institute as the sun rises, he’s mostly asleep when Izzy teases him. He doesn’t realize what, “Didn’t do much sleeping,” might sound to someone else, not until he’s showered and finally fallen into his bed.

Figuring everyone would be surprised to learn that while he hadn’t slept-- except for the last hour as the night gave way to dawn-- Alec is feeling warm as he replays the last several hours.

All they’d done was talk. He’d learned a lot about Magnus but more about his pursuits. Magnus had regaled him with stories of his travel, had recommended different restaurants in the city Alec should try when he had a night off patrol, and Alec had found himself sharing too, encouraged by Magnus’s soft smile and intense eyes that took every word Alec uttered and turned it into something valuable.

Magnus hadn’t made any untoward advances, hadn’t even been exceptionally flirty except in an offhand sort of way that makes Alec think that’s just a facet of his personality and not any particular hint.

He feels a little bad at how he’d snapped when he’d woken up and realized just how fast the rumor mill would churn if it got out that Alec had spent the night at the loft. He’d been half asleep and a little disoriented and Magnus had looked so content in that moment, happy enough to enjoy breakfast with a shadowhunter he still barely knew, and it had set alarms off in his head.

Alec has no fucking idea what he’s doing. All he knows is that the past hours were the most fun he’d had in longer than he cared to admit.

Catching himself hoping that they can do this again sometime-- talk, enjoy each other’s company, and maybe next time he won't run out on the warlock-- Alec falls asleep with a smile on his face.

It’s weeks later when Alec grabs his life by the laurels and finally goes after what he wants. His head has been a mess since Clary showed up. His life has been completely turned upside down.

But right now as he turns his back on the altar and stares down the aisle at Magnus, something finally feels right. For once, he’s taking something for himself and damn the consequences.

Ignoring everyone around him except for Magnus, Alec swallows his-- _boyfriend’s?_ \-- surprise for his own.

The kiss is everything he could hope for even if it signals the implosion of shadowhunter society, even if he can already hear the rumors swirling down from Idris.

In this moment, at this time and space, Alec feels happy. Magnus kisses him back fiercely and it’s a moment Alec knows he’ll remember for the rest of his life.

Weeks later, as he and Magnus go on date after date, Alec’s never been happier. The world might be falling down around his ears but Magnus is a refuge that he never saw coming but couldn’t live without all the same. 

Their dates usually end the same-- with them on a couch kissing until their lips go numb. There’s no where else that Alec would rather be than with Magnus so close, when they’re sharing the same breath, his head spinning from sandalwood cologne that warms the space behind Magnus’s ear.

It takes him longer than it should to consider that Magnus might be waiting for something else, something more. His boyfriend never hints, never tries to take more than Alec’s willing to give, and it makes something warm curl up in his chest, that his Magnus can treat him so carefully, like he’s something delicate.

Things catch up to Alec one day when he overhears a few recruits talking about the night they’d spent at The Hunter’s Moon when they’d been off patrol. He remembers that there’s a whole world outside of the bubble he’s been in with Magnus, where sex is casual and something people not only want but expect.

Something else wraps around his chest now and it feels like dread.

Because Alec doesn’t particularly want Magnus like that, in the way that could be expected of two people in a loving relationship. Sure he jerks off once in awhile but it’s always a stress response. It feels fine enough but it’s never attached to a person. And even though Alec is almost positive that he’s to the point of no return, that he loves Magnus in all the messy ways the word demands, he still isn’t overcome with passion or lust or a need to touch Magnus’s dick or have his boyfriend anywhere near his own.

So he goes to Izzy. He asks-- and in hindsight, they definitely should have left the Institute or at least found a private room because holy shit his sister doesn’t have a discreet bone in her body-- and he asks her when the time is right, how someone _knows_.

For all of Isabelle’s experience and for her cavalier attitude regarding sex, she’s almost laughably nonplussed when she realizes that he’s never slept with anyone. 

A part of Alec is relieved that his uncertainty and anxiety can be explained away by his inexperience but his question goes deeper than a virgin worried about their first time.

He’s worried about how Magnus will react if he can’t have sex, if things start and Alec feels way over his head way too quick. He’s worried if he’ll be able to make Magnus happy, if he’ll be good enough, feel present enough, if they do sleep together.

Isabelle does her best to be supportive but he still has no idea when the right time is-- if he’s being honest, he doesn’t know if there even is a right time for him specifically.

Still, Alec thinks Magnus deserves everything and at the end of the day, even if Alec isn’t into it, the priority is Magnus. Alec can do this for his boyfriend whom he loves very much.

That night, he goes to the loft and kisses Magnus and it’s good but there’s an uneasy undercurrent, too. He’s never felt that before when Magnus kisses him and it just serves to make everything else seem even more off kilter.

Magnus follows Alec’s lead and they stumble to the bedroom and even if Alec is unsure about everything else, he’s able to put it to the back of his mind. Magnus is close and they’re laughing into each other’s mouths and for all that Alec doesn’t really have a clue what he’s doing, things are still easy with Magnus, easier than he’d thought they’d be at least.

But then Magnus pulls back and Alec wonders if he’s already managed to fuck things up. Instead, his boyfriend turns to him and shows him his mark and Alec heart beats painfully in his chest at Magnus showing him something so important to him.

It never crosses Alec’s mind that his cat eyes are something that shouldn't be absolutely adored and Magnus relaxes into him, a whole new level of trust built between them.

The awareness that they’re building something, brick by laborious brick, lets Alec relax, too.

At least until Magnus’s hand gently lands on his thigh, until it slides up until he’s almost touching Alec through his jeans.

Alec tenses. He doesn’t mean to but it’s instinctual, something he can’t stop.

Magnus notices and stills, pulls back until he can look Alec in the eye with his own gaze still hued gold.

“Alexander,” Magnus says softly, moving the hand that was on his leg to card through Alec’s hair. “Are you okay, darling? It’s okay if you’re not ready, if you’re having second thoughts.”

Alec stares up at Magnus wide eyed. “No, this is fine,” he rushes to reassure Magnus. “I want this.” his voice is firm on that, at least. He might not want it for himself but he doesn't want Magnus to feel deprived.

Looking unconvinced, Magnus leans down to kiss Alec. It’s soft and slow and helps relax Alec. 

“Talk to me, Alexander. I want both of us to enjoy this next step but I’m in no particular rush. We move as fast or as slow as you want.”

Eyes falling down to one of Magnus’s necklaces, Alec focuses on that as silence falls in the bedroom. Alec’s not sure what to say-- sure he’s ace but he loves Magnus and he doesn’t want to disappoint his boyfriend. Magnus has needs or whatever the hell and he shouldn’t have to suffer just because Alec doesn’t want sex, at least not right now.

Alec doesn’t look up to see Magnus’s expression but his boyfriend’s voice is thoughtful, each word measured as he offers, “Or if you’d like to come to a dead stop, that’s more than fine, too.”

Startled, Alec tears his gaze away from the glinting metal to look at Magnus. He swallows hard. “What?” he says, voice barely a whisper.

Magnus smiles and it’s small but so damn sincere that Alec’s breath catches. “I told you awhile ago that you’ve unlocked something in me, darling. I like you.” Magnus laughs and it’s just a little flustered at the edges. “I like you quite a bit. I can only imagine the stories you’ve heard about me but I want you to know that I love your company and just being with you. I am more than happy to keep doing that. Sex is nice but it’s nothing compared to listening to you make awful jokes about tuna or sharing a quiet dinner in Barcelona.”

Looking into Magnus’s eyes, there’s nothing but soft reassurance to something Alec’s never even acknowledged. Tentatively, he offers, “And if it’s always a dead stop?”

Something like understanding flashes in Magnus’s eyes but his expression doesn’t shift from its soft smile. “That’s fine, too. I never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Alexander. If we ever do something, I always want us to be on the same page. It’s no fun if one of us isn’t into it.”

It’s a long conversation after that. Magnus is gentle but unmoving-- he doesn’t pressure Alec to tell him anything he doesn’t want to but knowing that Magnus at least has an inkling now makes it easier for Alec to lay his cards out on the table.

Magnus knows what asexuality is and he listens attentively as Alec explains what it means for him personally-- that he doesn’t feel any need attached to a person, that even if he thinks Magnus is beautiful and wonderful, there’s no want there, either.

But maybe one day there will be-- because Alec could see one day wanting to be close to Magnus in a whole new way, wanting another level of intimacy, a way to deepen their relationship and feel close.

At that point, Magnus tries to remind Alec again that he’ll never ask for something Alec doesn’t readily and wholeheartedly give but this time it’s Alec who makes sure his boyfriend understands.

He might not be sexually attracted to Magnus but sex could feel good on its own and with Magnus, Alec thinks there might even be a day he wants to try. Now that he knows Magnus doesn’t expect sex-- that even, or especially because, he’s lived so long, Magnus’s priorities in relationships have shifted. He falls for the person before the sex. The sex is always just an added bonus, a cherry on top of an already sweet sundae.

They talk until it’s late, closer to morning than night and fall asleep in between kisses that don’t lead anywhere but are still bone-meltingly satisfying all the same.

When they wake up the next morning, they’re wrapped around each other and it’s the safest that Alec thinks he’s ever felt. They cuddle and even if they're only wearing pants, Alec doesn't feel uneasy or like there are hidden expectations. They've talked and Alec trusts Magnus, trusts that they're in this together.

It’s almost unbelievable that he could feel home between the sheets of Magnus Bane’s bed but Alec’s long since realized that Magnus is proving to be the exception to every rule he’s got.

There’s something about training that makes Alec’s blood run hot.

Seeing his boyfriend in a thin tank top showing off moves with a coyly flirty look reminiscent of when he first hustled Alec at pool is a beautiful sight.

They’ve been together for awhile now and Alec’s more comfortable with Magnus than he could’ve ever imagined. 

Magnus has always been so respectful of his boundaries, never making Alec feel like he wants more, like he’s not completely satisfied with what they already do.

Alec thinks it’s because of that, that he wants to give Magnus more. Not all the time and not even very often at all but sometimes Alec likes sex. It’s cathartic and the feeling of being so close to Magnus, of sharing something so intimate, is very much something Alec enjoys.

Things have been so shit in the shadow world that when Alec lets himself flirt with Magnus, lets himself go during training, he feels _good_. He wants to share that goodness with Magnus.

Later, when Magnus climbs out of bed while Alec’s still having trouble catching his breath, Alec finds himself wishing every day could be like this.

He knows Magnus is hurting and that he can’t do anything about it. He knows that outside the walls of his bedroom, there’s a whole world trying to tear them down and that nothing’s a guarantee.

Right here with Magnus, though, Alec feels like they can survive. He’s found something here, between accepting a drink and letting Magnus in and he’s loathe to give it all up.

Alec loves Magnus and Magnus loves him back, in so many ways, in all of the important ones.

The future might be uncertain but Alec knows one thing-- as long as he has Magnus, as long as they have each other, everything will be okay.

He refuses to accept anything less.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr or twitter @carmenlire!


End file.
